Is writer’s block getting you down? Tired of staring at the screen, hoping Gunshija, Goddess of Writers will send you divine inspiration? Well, look no further! I am going to enlighten you on how I smash through writer’s block like the Hulk smashes through walls!
1: Obtain the following items: a matchbox, the biggest bottle of gin you can find, and a picture of renowned pop star Taylor Swift. Set them on the table and croon softly to them.
2: Light a match, stare at it until it burns down, and consider all the terrible choices you’ve made in life. Rinse and repeat until the matchbox is empty. Eat the empty matchbox.
3: Smash the photograph while screaming “WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME, TAYLOR!? WHY?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY SOULMATE!!!”
4: Ignore the fact that you’ve never met Taylor Swift.
5: Chug the bottle of gin.
6: Curl into a ball and cry for several hours.
Congratulations! You are now ready to write an award winning novel or build a robot to write one for you! The world is your gin-soaked oyster! Go forth and CREATE!!!