EXPLOSION BURST MAN!!!

EXPLOSION BURST MAN!!!

By Matthew Wasik

CHAPTER 1

Explosion Burst Man, the world’s greatest superhero, woke up to a picturesque sunrise right out of a picture. He removed the wet newspaper from his face and looked at a sturdy wooden chair sitting next to his bed.

“Well, good morning, Steve!” said Explosion Burst Man to the chair, whose name was Steve. “Are you ready for another productive day?”

Steve, who was a chair, said nothing.

“Great!” said Explosion Burst Man, and rolled out of bed onto the floor, wrapping himself in the sheets and taking Steve with him as he did so.

“Rrrru rehree goo goh?” asked Explosion Burst Man, voice muffled by the blankets.

Steve, who was a knocked-over chair, said nothing.

Found Wanting

Found Wanting

by Matthew Wasik

The caravan rattled and groaned, venting steam as it’s engines propelled it forward. Using the guardrails, Ujarak carefully ascended from the lower deck. The caravan went over a sudden bump, causing the lightly-built Torchlander to almost drop his rifle.

His friend and platoon-mate, Gunther, awaited his arrival up top. Easily more than six feet tall, most of it muscle, the Üraganheimen looked more like a bouncer than a trained Torchlandic soldier.

“Vell?” he asked, “vot did zey say?”

“Two more days till we reach Kamenta.” Ujarak said morosely. “Two days too many, if you ask me.” The top of the caravan had several soldiers on it, spread between the roofs of it’s two cars. Ujarak walked to the edge of caravan roof to stand beside Günther, resting his hands on the guardrail.

Bad Poetry

BAD POETRY

Authors note: every semester, the writing club at my college has a bad poetry contest-- whoever discovers or writes the worst poetry wins. I think I may have won just by sheer volume. I gave myself a rule: as soon as I had finished a line, I couldn't go back and edit it. I think it turned out for the best / worst.

Her lips are like lips
Rosy and chapped with balm of the lip
Especially her lip of the upper lip upper
Dip dup dupper doo dooooo

Limerick proficiency
There once was a man from Teluse
Whose head looked quite like a goose
He honked and he gonked
And gave john Deere a bonk
Oh god I can't make this rhyme.

The Pelican

The Pelican

     By Matthew Wasik

Authors note: This is actually a reworked version of a encounter from a cancelled video game! I was doing the writing, but then everything exploded. This is actually and odd introduction to the universe it's set in, since there's more to Voidscape than just spooky scariness. Oh well, regardless, please enjoy!

Most people aren’t a big fan of faster-than-light travel.

First, the familiar sight of the starfield melts away, replaced by a distant white fuzzy orb. That’s how you know you’re in whitespace. You can tell yourself that it’s just background radiation all you want, but the milky-white vision just looks wrong.

Next comes the cold. It doesn’t matter how high the ship’s heater is set, a thin layer of frost covers everything within a matter of minutes. The entire ship fills with a deathly chill that cuts right to the bone.

Then there’s the sense of presence. No matter how irrational it may be, passengers on a ship in whitespace feel like there’s somebody in the room with them. Sometimes you’ll see movement out of the corner of your eye, only to turn your head and see nothing there. “Spooky” doesn’t half cover it.